Silence doesn’t come naturally to me. I love to talk, I love to laugh, and I love to sing. And if I’m in a confined space where it might be annoying to do so, I usually can’t help but hum. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the quiet. I prefer silence over white or background noise. I have relented to my husband’s need to sleep with a fan on, but oh, how I miss falling asleep to a peeper and cricket chorus drifting through the open window on the breath of the cool night air.
What I’m saying is that although I love and prefer to listen and engage with the gentle sounds of nature as opposed to manufactured noise, I myself am not naturally quiet.
Some of you have asked (and thank you – makes a blogger feel good) why the silence of late on this blog.
If you read my post in March or listened to my corresponding song, “Baby Steps”, you may remember me talking about a little one taking her first steps. Spurred by his encouragement, she successfully stumbles into her daddy’s safe arms followed by the exhilaration of temporary flight as he tosses her in the air, before catching her and holding her close to his heart – all the while telling her how proud he is of his big girl. And that’s all it takes. What had moments before required much coxing and was answered with hesitant faith, now is met with clamorous giggles for “More!”
I couldn’t have given a better word picture of what I was experiencing in my walk with God, and so the story continues…
I can assure you that “More! More!” is one prayer that will not seemingly fall of deaf ears. The Father loves that heart cry. He waits for it. He longs for it. He gave His Son over 2,000 years ago in anticipation of it. Be assured that if you are reaching for Him, you will not be left wanting.
I grew up in the church and have loved Jesus for as long as I can remember. Yet unbeknownst to me, I would now say that I was a contented crawler. The problem with crawling is that treasures lay just beyond reach – namely, greater intimacy with God. The realization that there are greater depths to what I love was enough to coax me past my hesitation, and onto my feet to take some wobbly steps toward the Father. Then just like that baby, find myself whisked into the arms of deeper love than I had yet understood and left me clamoring for “More”!
That’s why the silence. When God begins to reveal Himself to you in new and deeper ways, I don’t care how verbal you are by nature, like Job, you find yourself standing back in awestruck silence.
Then Job answered the Lord: “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer— twice, but I will say no more.” ~Job 40:3-5 (NIV)
You know you have made a good meal for your family when the table talk ceases and everyone is focused on devouring their food. It’s hard to talk when your mouth is full of deliciosity. (I know that’s not a word, but it should be.) And that’s me of late. In response to that cry for “More!”, God has set a table before me in the presence of my enemies and my cup is running over. My mouth is so full of His goodness that I have been rendered speechless.
Do you realize that your heart can gather at a much faster rate than your mind can process? The eyes of your heart are far keener than your “mind’s eye”. I am not for a minute saying not to use your head. I love to hear teaching from apologists such as Ravi Zacharias or learn from the brilliant minds of the likes of Ken Ham. Not for one second should you turn off your brain when it comes to your faith. What I am saying is that sometimes it takes my brain time to catch up with the understanding my heart has gleaned from experience. It may only take a half hour to eat that amazing meal, but your digestive system needs all night to process what it received.
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— ~Proverbs 2:1-2 (NIV)
And that’s where I find myself right now. For lack of a more flattering analogy, it reminds me of a cow having to chew its cud between devouring more of the sweet clover growing in the pasture. I’m feeling so full of His goodness as He has been generous with His insights and His Person, yet I am not content to live on yesterday’s manna. In between processing what I’ve just come to understand, I’m taking in more. I have literally been overwhelmed of late and that is why the silence.
Perhaps you relate to what I’m writing. I hope so. But perhaps not. Maybe you are struggling with knowing you should be spending time in God’s Word and in His Presence, but just don’t feel motivated. Can I give you a little tip? In the natural, we get hungry by not eating. But our spirit is just the opposite. Our spirits get hungry by eating. The more time you spend with God, the more of His time you want. Revelation from His Word, begets a greater desire for more revelation. The greater depths of intimacy you experience with the Lover of your soul, the more you awaken to the understanding that there is more to be had, and the more ravenous you become for another encounter with Him.
I don’t care if you are what I like to call “Pre-Christian”, an infant in your walk with God, a crawler, a walker, a runner, or even if you have learned to fly – there are treasures that lie just beyond your reach. You need only cry out for “More” to grasp them. And not only do I know that to be true in this life, but I believe with all my heart that the same will be true of eternity. God is too awesome for us to ever arrive at a place where we completely understand the magnitude of His majesty and love.
I have an idea that when this loquacious woman someday reaches Heaven, she will be rendered speechless for at least the first few millennium. When I finally can speak, I’m pretty sure all I will be able to do, is like the angels that encompass His throne, fall down on my face in worship crying, “Holy”.
Does any of this resonate with you? I do appreciate the private messages and emails, but would enjoy a discussion in the comment section below. You can sign up so you don’t miss a post, and please pass this on to your social media pages if you feel it’s worthy.
In summary, please click below to enjoy my latest song entitled, “Overwhelm Me“.
Sensational post, Shelleen! Much like Weaver finally being bold enough to ask for more and receive her invitation to go into the fullness of the Gatekeeper’s promises. May you take joy in realizing more of Him and His calling this year! Seems forever since the conference but it’s only been about 4-5 weeks! Hope we can connect soon and catch up. Best line in this post is noting the difference between what makes the flesh hungry–lack, as compared to what makes the spirit hungry–more. Great insight! Love ya!
Thank you so much dear Kathryn! Your affirmation is valued as I respect you as a person and writer. It was so very much fun meeting you at the conference, and I too hope we can connect sooner than later. Loved your Anne of Green Gables post by the way! I knew you were a kindred spirit!
I haven’t read your book yet, but thank you for sending it to me. I will be reading it as soon as I finish the 3 I’m in right now. I have promised myself not to start another until I finish up the ones I’m in! Love to you!